How do we connect with ourselves and our hearts in a world that is so outwardly focused?

Even though connecting with ourselves has perhaps never been more important and essential in the fast pace and "constant strive for more" culture most of us find ourselves in today, where many people experience stress and overwhelm, it can seem rather difficult knowing how to actually go within or, where to start?

The masculine and outwardly focused ways

In the ways most of us have been taught and programmed to strive for things in life that are approved and admired externally, and where there is a constant stream of influence and expectation demanding our attention, action and response, living from our own hearts, needs and desires is for many an unfamiliar concept, yet something that many long for (and need).

Creating a life that meets the eyes and expectations of others is often very outward focused that can bring great success (in the traditional and masculine definitions of success), but that rarely makes us feel fulfilled. It often focuses on achievements that can be measured in grades, incomes and titles, it focuses on creating what is visually appealing to the eyes both with our own appearance but also with our belongings, it focuses on constantly having to prove our worth through doing and always strive for more.

It is a way of living that is so collectively approved and normalized, making it even more difficult to embrace a different way of living, one that perhaps seems not only different from the masses and what we have been taught to strive towards, but that can feel unrealistic, foreign and unfamiliar.

Shifting focus

To truly connect with our selves, it requires us to shift our focus and remind ourselves of who we are in our hearts. We shift focus by releasing the masculine based programmings and conditions we have been taught to live through and restore our natural inner balance.

Connecting with ourselves is about going back to basics and peal of all the different layers that have been built up over the courses of our lives, layers that tells us we need to be a certain way and achieve certain things in order to be worthy, fulfilled and happy.

In the process of pealing of, we carve our ways back to who we are at core - deeply valuable, worthy, unique and radiant all on our own.

To shift means to go from looking for approval externally and instead turn to inner approval, from pushing and forcing you way through life to instead trust the natural and organic unfolding of your individual and unique path, from proving your worth by doing to instead feel deeply valuable by simple being and from over-riding or changing your natural qualities, gifts and attributes to be a version other people will be pleased with to instead embrace your true self knowing that you are meant to be just as you are.

Like most things, shifting focus can be viewed as a practice and a process that requires patience, compassion and endurance and one that unfolds uniquely to each person. There is no short cut to anything and there is no right way to do it, it is more about listening and paying attention to our bodies with awareness and becoming intimately familiar with ourselves and through this, we shift our ways of being and perceiving.

To support this shift, cultivating connection based practices is of great use as I write about below.

(If you feel drawn to going even deeper into your core as a woman to restore true inner balance, I write more about feminine healing and cultivating faith here).

Introducing connection based practices into your every day life

Meditation, yoga, breath work, self care, journaling, spending time in nature. These different practices are all meant to point your awareness in the right direction, which is inward and each practice holds the core belief that you are whole and deeply valuable just as you are and by embracing this viewpoint of wholeness (your mind, body and soul connection that are all interconnected and all impackts each other) you create conditions for a beautiful and wholesome connection to be made.

These practices can be introduced no matter where you live and you will notice within a short period of time the amazing benefits these exercises have, however, if you are looking for a deeper sense of fulfillment and sustainability to your inner peace and well being, it is my belief that embracing and embodying a slower lifestyle as a whole is a prerequisite.

Meaning, if you are living in a location of the middle of a city for example or working in such a place, surrounded by traffic and loud noises day in and day out, these practices will of course be of great assistants, but, you will still be exposed to a surrounding that is highly distracting and loud, making it difficult for you to hear yourself and fully keep a sense of inner peace for very long. If you instead surround yourself in an environment that is consistently calm, slow and still (like nature), and where distractions and loud noises are limited, chances are greater that you will experience a deeper and more lasting inner well being.

Remember that no matter which specific practice you choose to introduce and practice (or perhaps you already have experience), the intention it to simply be curious and open to what might appear when you give yourself a moment and chance to listen inward.

Hold the intention to simply listen and not have the mindset that you need to change, fix or solve anything, nothing needs to be fixed, you are perfect as you are.

Even thought it might feel subtle at first (if you are a beginner) and somewhat strange to go within, especially if you have been living more in alignment with the masculine oriented ways that are more outwardly focused (which most people do), as all things and practices, they become deeper with time.

Be patient with yourself, and don't give up when you feel "you are not achieving anything or noticing any difference", just keep practicing and the change will come naturally and unforced.

There are endless of practices available out there for free. I find most of my guided meditations on youtube, even yoga practices.

If you like to receive some tips you are more then welcome to send me an email and I will send you beautiful tips on good guided meditations and yoga practices that I have found and can't live without.

Create a loving, safe and calm environment (a more practical aspect)

To view a more practical aspect yet highly useful one, is to provide yourself with conditions that holds qualities of feeling safe, supported, loved and held. A space that is undistracted and where you can give yourself a moment of pure stillness.

As I mentioned above, to connect with self can be done anywhere on earth by shifting our focus and introducing connection based practices, however, creating a suitable and loving environment that naturally resonates with and supports our path towards inner connectedness makes the process more profound and easy.

A good place to begin is within our own homes, the place we hold most dear to our hearts, the place where we rest our feet and are free to fully be ourselves.

Within these frames, we have the ability to turn our awareness inward and become intimately familiar with ourselves without the interference of outside noise and opinions of others and, in a way where we are safe to explore, feel and express ourselves freely without the fear of being judged or rejected.

Make this space yours. You are the creator of your life.

For example, keeping a clutter free home with a minimalistic and clean approach can be of great influence to enhance the feeling of calm and still. Clean out your home space, make it feel peaceful in whatever way that means to you, maybe light some candles and create an atmosphere that feels soothing and relaxing.

You can also take a look at your everyday schedule, is there space in your schedule to do things (or just be) that you truly love and enjoy, or are you busy and fully booked with to do's and demands? Do you make time for rest and recovery? If not, how can you make different priorities to enable inner connection?

I hope you found this article valuable, please feel free to leave a comment or reach out if you have any thoughts or wonders!

Lots of love,

Stina